The Adventures of Betty Crockett

Right where I need to be

2012-02-06T09:52:00.000-08:00

I feel like I'm playing "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego", with myself. I can't even keep up anymore. I've moved yet again and the fact that it didn't even faze me, or affect me is what worries me. I grew up in one house, in my recollected memory, at least. I dreamed everyday of moving. I thought it was boring to stay in the same spot, same school and see the same people day in and day out. I wanted to be a gypsy, travel and move whenever I felt the need. Having moved 15 times in the last 14 years, my opinion has somewhat changed. I actually have to THINK to remember where I was living at a certain point in time. I recall the date of milestones in our lives by which house we were living in. The crappy part is, in all this moving I've never gone anywhere worth talking about. I've never lived in Scotland, or taught English in some tropical third world country, like I always dreamed. My only trip out of Canada was to shop at Target at midnight and grab a hamburger at White Castle in Michigan.The ironic part is, I'm now living right next door to where I grew up. I spent my whole life wishing I was anywhere else and now I've ended up right back where I started, and it seems like the best place in the whole world I could ever be. I find it amazing that every morning, I see the same sun come over the same hills that it did when I was 4. I look out the window and see my Gramma's field where my favorite old horse is buried. I see the same barn we used to sit up in the loft and eat candy from the same old corner store. This past weekend, my daughter had a friend over and they took our snowmobile over to Gramma's field, the same way we used to. I watched out the window as kid after kid came running down the road to the field and jumped in the skimmer being pulled behind the sled. The day started with 2 kids and ended with 10, just the way it was when we were kids. I'm finding I say that a lot lately... "just like when we were kids" I've been feeling old and dreading birthdays and just feeling like life is passing me by and I haven't been anywhere or done anything significant. I've been in an actual, anxiety-filled panic over it for the last few years. Since I've moved here, I feel at ease. Like I don't need to be doing anything or be anywhere. Who knew that all those years I needed to leave, I was actually, exactly where I needed to be and that maybe 32 isn't so old after all?

The view from my deck..
The yard and barn from my home as a kid and in the distance is my Gramma's.

All I really need to know...

2011-11-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

Today, I was standing in the hallway waiting for Toby to be dismissed from class. I was doing the blank stare at the back of the door across from me, as I always do, when suddenly the poster came into focus. After reading, a lot of things were in focus.

All I Really need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten ~ Robert Fulghum

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned:

Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

Happy Hallowe'en

2011-11-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

Whats better than carving pumpkins and lighting them up?

Blowing them up!

Toby and Pappy

Ellie May

Moi

Still No Deer...

2011-11-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

The only shooting going on lately is with my camera, here's a few from yesterday...

The Willow River

The road was washed out, but "only if your a pansy" I'm told.

The Bowron River

Grocery Day

2011-10-28T12:04:00.000-07:00

This was the actual and only contents of my purse when I went to pay for my purchases at the grocery store the other day. I did all my shopping, unloaded my groceries, the teller rang them all up and I opened my purse to pay and all I had was a pink skinning knife and a tray of 270 bullets. Some days I seriously wonder about myself.

In my opinion.....

2011-10-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

Deer[less] Hunting

2011-10-24T13:05:00.000-07:00

I took the girls out deer hunting the other day, but all we found was grouse.

We looked high and low,

And then we finally found some....

Standing behind this....

Stony Lake Day 2

2011-10-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

Day two of our trip started out a little chillier than day one.

The girls eating breakfast in their snow suits

So we decided against heading up the creek in our underwear again and spent the day exploring Stony lake.

They get along so good when the camera is out

We stopped for lunch on one of the islands and as long as there's rocks, the girls are happy. After they filled all the empty lunch bags with rocks for the aquarium at home, they started building Inukshuks.

The island where we had lunch

Most of the lake shore is lined with stones.

"she ain't even thinking bout what's really going on right now
but I guarantee this memories a big one,
and she thinks we're just fishing"

Escape to Stony Lake

2011-10-07T08:28:00.000-07:00

I have this terrible habit of packing my truck, picking my girls up from school (mid-day) and taking off for a few days. Last week, we did just that!

I'm a firm believer in all kids knowing how to drive, should an emergency ever occur... plus it puts me right up there in the "Cool Mom" category. This day it was Toby's turn for a lesson. Don't worry -- old back road, miles and miles and MILES in the middle of nowhere, it's perfectly safe for a 5 yr old to drive!

I have an aunt that's always up for our kind of adventure, so we met up to explore a chain of lakes. We started out at the east end of Stony Lake. My aunt kayaks, I canoe so the kids can come along too. We go rain or shine, wind or hail - it would pretty much have to be a full on hurricane to keep us home. If there's somewhere we want to go, we get there. EVEN if it includes dragging a canoe and a kayak up a raging creek in our underwear (so we still have dry clothes to put back on before the onset of hypothermia) Now, I did specifically say the words "Don't worry, auntie, this picture won't end up on Facebook" and I completely honor that statement. But nowhere in that conversation was my blog mentioned. My sincere apologies, but that's the chance you take hanging out with a blogger. It's how we roll. We keep it real. Real life is funny, and so are my Popsicle Joe Boxers paired with camo neoprene gumboots and my aunts spray skirt, kayak-bootie ensemble.

We tied a rope on our boats and headed up stream. Sometimes we were on shore, and sometimes we had to walk in the water. The girls alternated between walking on shore and riding in the canoe.

Ellie-May rode shotgun. It's grizzly country. You don't want to be caught in your Popsicle undies without a gun, let me tell you.

Toby was the Official Complainer.

We trekked up to where it was wider and deeper and we were able to paddle, and put our pants back on. Creeks in northern BC at the end of September are freaking freezing and it felt oddly like I was dressing another person, my legs were completely numb.

The next lake is Rond Lake. Apparently the cold was affecting my brain at this point because I forgot to take a picture until the way back, so its from the wrong direction, but you get the idea.

There's another little section of creek, and then Stefan Lake. As we were coming in, I noticed a bull moose on the far shore. He immediately noticed us as well, and started prancing and throwing his head, and pacing back and forth. We watched him perform the entire trip down the lake, and when we started getting close, he started swimming out. We kept a close eye. I'm no fool. Moose are dangerous. We kept our distance and he eventually swam back to shore, and continued his show of pacing and thrashing around. We parked and watched him for close to an hour and had a snack

The next lake doesn't technically have a name, on a map, but we call it Little Stefan because it's smaller than Stefan Lake. Duh.

Once again, I forgot to take a picture, but this is taken from Stefan Lake, looking into Little Stefan.

OK, all this Stefan talk is getting me off track...

Anyways, back to the trip... After making it all the way down to the last lake, we stopped for lunch and a rest before heading back to camp. The trip back down the creek was much more fun than the trip up. It was like a roller coaster! Rapids, twists, turns, a drop off, and some fancy paddling to make it between stumps and other debris in the water. We felt like Voyageurs! Well at least I did. When I yelled that to the girls, they burst out laughing and said "what the heck is a voyageur?!" You spend all the time at school and don't know what a Voyageur is? What do you do there all day? So I gave them a little history less right then and there. I think it was much more effective learning about it while we were actually doing it. There's an element added that you just can't get by sitting at a desk - the fearing for you life while you careen a hundred miles an hour down a raging creek in a canoe, getting your face scratched on willows, portaging, and paddling till your arms burn off - it was perfect!

We came shooting out of the creek, back into Stony Lake and headed to camp for some fishing,

and a beautiful end to the day...

12 dogs. 6 weeks.

2011-10-06T20:47:00.000-07:00

For 6 weeks I had 12 dogs. Two moves ago, my husband and I each loaded our vehicles with the last loads. I got in the car and took off. He was following behind with the truck and horse trailer. By the time we got to our new place, about 25 minutes away, he had a dog the size of a Shetland pony in the front seat of my truck.

Kuma - after digging himself a bed in the rose garden

We knew the dog, he wasn't a stranger to us. He spent many days at our house hanging out with the kids, eating numerous 18kg bags of dog food, stealing snacks and goodies straight out of kids mouths, (never mind their hands) eating our shoes and when luck was really on his side - passing out on our couch after eating our garbage can and dragging garbage from one end our house to the other. He was an orphan dog, brought to our neighbors house and left there. They looked after him as best they could, but it was at our house he was really loved. My husband (the animal hater) felt bad leaving him behind, and asked if we could have him. By asked I mean opened the truck door and asked the dog if he wanted to come. The dog jumped in and away they went. 3 days later the neighbor called to see if we had him, I said yes and she said thank you. 3 months later 8 puppies are born to my mastiff -cross female.

Lilo and her pile of cuteness

Add those 10 to the 2 chihuahua's we have and you have 12 dogs. Do you have any idea how much dog food 12 dogs eat? About and 18 kg bag in about 4 days. We consider ourselves lucky now that the puppies are all gone to wonderful homes and we go through 18kg of dog food in only 7 days. Did I mention the dog is the size of a flipping Shetland pony?

Hey!

2011-08-16T21:42:00.000-07:00

Guess how many times I've moved in the last three years. I'll give you a hint.... it's a ridiculous amount of times! There was so little time in between the last two moves that I hadn't even finished unpacking in between! There was so little time in between the last two moves that the very thought of moving sent me running for my bed where I stayed for 3 days in a chip-eating, romance novel-reading, pout. I drug my but out of bed long enough to fill may camper van full of my most precious possessions including:

11 or my 12 dogs (yikes!! the reason we temporarily have that many dogs is a post for another day)
1 of my 3 kids
my 100 gallon aquarium, with all 6 extra-large fish in a giant size tucker-tote that leaked all over my orange shag carpet
everything breakable I own that i couldn't bring myself to pack YET AGAIN!

...and I headed for the new house, where I quickly unpacked everything that was living or necessary and REFUSED to go back for another load. I have to admit, I am happy we're back, I love the new house, and living in civilization with HIGHSPEED INTERNET is pretty frigging awesome! I have coffee everyday with some one other than the voices in my head! I see friends and family, take the kids to the museum, the public pool, and WALMART - all of which are AT MOST 15 minutes away! I'm supposed to be job hunting, but for the moment I'm just enjoying life :0)

Hello, again.

2011-02-16T11:40:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I've been around and I do apologize. I have exciting new projects on the go and in an effort to devote my time more wisely to them and the kids, I have disconnected the internet at home. I know!! Shocking!! I also have more time for disaster's, conundrums, and good fun to happen so in the coming weeks you'll get to hear all about it, I'm sure! Are you ready for this?

Vicious Cycle

2010-02-16T19:26:00.000-08:00

7000 acres and they still use the living room, kitchen, and hallway as a racetrack. If I say, "stop running in the house" one more time I might just explode. Every time I turn around there are at least 3 kids and 2 dogs and sometimes a bike or two flying past me, hundred miles an hour. Screaming, screeching, giggling and barking crashing, smashing, crying, fighting, tattling... But I love every minute of it!

Common-Tater

2010-02-02T21:56:00.000-08:00

For some reason I can't comment on my own blog? Don't worry, I wasn't trying to third person myself or reveal a split personality, I was just trying to answer some comments I had! From strangers! From people other than my Mom and Auntie-from-Ontario! No offense, I love your comments too, but the fact that strangers stopped by and took the time to comment has made my week! So, I'm not being uppity now with my new stranger-commented-on blog status, I just cant answer, I think it's a dial-up issue... and since I AM NEVER MOVING AGAIN, there is just nothing I can do about that. So in answer to your comments...... The skating was survived with minimal injuries, we are going to try it again tomorrow. And yes! The hamster is very frigging scary! He has his own salad tongs now, so I don't have to bleach mine so much. They will come in handy for the hedgehog Ellie-May is saving up for. yay. Teeth AND quills.

Sleep Talker

2010-02-02T21:30:00.000-08:00

Ever read the blog Sleep Talkin Man? I read it all the time. It's pretty funny. Mostly because my husband is also a sleep talker. He yells, laughs, swears, and occasionally throws punches. A few weeks ago I heard him laughing so hard in his sleep, so I went down to see what was so funny, and he tells me to "check out the costco-lookin bitch in the corner". I started to laugh and asked him what he was talking about, and his answer was "gulbranson boobies". A few days after that, I was laying in bed watching tv. He was sound asleep and had been for hours. I can tell by his obnoxiously loud breathing. I was laying flat on my back and he was laying on his side facing me. With out any warning at all, and faster than I could have ever imagined, he punched me right square between the eyes. Pasted me right in the glasses, driving them right into my eyeballs with such force I swear it turned my eyelids inside out. I yelled out in pain at the same time HE did as well! "What the hell are you doing?!" I yelled. "oh ow! something happened with your tooth or something!" he says. "You just punched my frigging lights out!" I screamed at him. He pats my head like a little dog and says "sor-ry" in a singsongy voice and is instantly sleeping again, if he even woke up in the first place. The next morning he had no recollection of anything. Or did he...? Tonight as I was writing this post, we again heard yelling from the bedroom so we snuck down to listen to him. " What the frick are you doing, CHAIR?! Ya those are my pipes, what are yours? Oh your laughing?! O really?!
Yes, we are laughing.. is it with you or at you?

You've Got Mail

2010-02-01T22:10:00.000-08:00

Wow it works. I have been desperately trying to post for days and weeks. I had so much to say. So much to laugh about, funny shit was happening left and right. But the unfunny reality of life in the boonies has overwhelmed me. I had to get dial up internet. Yes, it does still exist. Who new?! I didn't know. I thought the entire world ran on high speed. When we moved out here I was offered an internet stick. High speed service anywhere there is 3G. Only 30 bucks a month. Come on.... what do you have to lose? umm, only about $300 of hard earned money for one month of internet sticking. Seriously. They actually found it totally reasonable to charge me $300 for one month of service. I found it totally reasonable that I call them every swear word I ever learned, and even few that I made up on the fly. Those ones haunt me embarrassingly. So now I am condemned to relive 1998 when we got out first computer and were introduced to the wonderful world of rotten.com. oh! I meant email, Mom. Sorry. It was EMAIL! All we did was email. I did not show my 12 year old brother pictures of peoples brains smashed all over the pavement. Actually he showed me....
Anyways, I couldn't even remember how to work the archaic form of internet. I had to phone Telus and ask the,. "umm, plug the computer to the phone jack and hit connect. Well no, you can't talk on the phone at the same time." So I hung up and hook up the phone cord to the computer. Then came the noise of signing on.. dialing... weeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeooooonnnnggggg tinga tinga..... I put on a rerun of friends, cooked up a chimichanga in the microwave, filled an extra large A&W mug with Tang, and felt 18 again.

Skating on Thin Ice

2010-01-11T20:22:00.000-08:00

I somehow was persuade to take two little girls skating tomorrow. I have no idea how they managed to do it. I'm pretty sure I wasn't drunk. They asked so sweetly I just couldn't refuse... if there is no post tomorrow, it's because I have broken my neck, or my wrists or my ass or something. I can't skate to save my life. I couldn't skate to save my kids life! I now have to try and skate while helping a 2 and a 4 year old as well. Oh my god, I can feel my bones snapping already.

Cow Patty

2010-01-10T20:49:00.000-08:00

Look at that face! You would never guess she has a filthy addiction that she tries to hide. I hate to rat her out... Lilo is addicted to cow patties. My dogs have a kennel. It's by the front door. Every time I let Lilo in from outside she races to her kennel. I assume... she's excited... she loves her bed.... she's a big dork. Whatever the reason, I never gave it much thought. I noticed about a week ago that she had started to chew her bed a bit. By Friday, it was chewed ALOT, and all the pieces were spread out so that the entire floor of the kennel was covered. There was a really rank smell coming from it. I decided the bed had seen its last day and pulled it out to throw it away. Underneath it was the most unbelievable site of my life. The entire bottom of the kennel was lined with cow patty chunks, that must have been snuck in in her mouth, frozen, and have since thawed out. She had been chewing her bed up to hide and bury her treasure, till she could go in there and snack in peace. I have no idea how long she has been hoarding cow shit, but there was quite a pile in there. I drug the kennel to the front door and heaved it, and the cow shit outside. She ran around trying to dig it all underneath her, frantically gathering it up. We now have nightly kennel checks to make sure there is no further smuggling issues.

Cheese-Baby

2010-01-05T16:21:00.000-08:00

Luckily for me, Toby got money for Christmas from my Meemaw and Poppa. She finally had enough money to buy the one thing her heart has been longing for....

A hamster.

(yes I know, she has no shirt on and her hair isn't brushed, give me a break)

So, she has her hamster, she loves it to pieces, she feeds and waters it a million times a day, kisses it, has hours-long conversations with it. Until... you guessed it! the disgusting rodent took a chomp at her. I heard a blood curdling scream from the basement. I looked at B.D. and said "how much you wanna bet Cheese-Baby just bit her?" Seconds later, Shooter carried the attack victim upstairs. She was too upset to walk. "I HATE Cheese-Baby!! WAAAAAAA-AHHHHHHHHH!! Feed it to the DO-OG!! It went on for at least 20 minutes. We managed to suppress the bleeding and get it cleaned out. Minutes later, she was back in love. Since then, it's bit every kid that stuck it's fingers anywhere near it. Really, who in their right mind went about catching these vicious little creatures, putting them in space-age little cages and selling them for a small fortune? Have you ever seen the teeth these things are sporting?

They are like a miniature grizzly bear! Worse probably if you put them in proportion to each other!

Today was cage cleaning day. There is no way in hell I am getting any where near those fangs. I picked him up with the salad tongs and quickly stuck him in his travel case before Toby seen me or she would be using every utensil I own to to torture the poor thing.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T18:44:00.001-08:00

Truckin'

2009-12-30T13:17:00.000-08:00

I grew up a loggers daughter, and now despite my best efforts, I am a loggers wife. It's a feast or famine industry. Either its logging season, he's working as many hours as can legally be fit into a day/week, we never see him, and we have money or it's break up and we're dirt poor and he's home 24 hours a day, wishing he was at work. Right now, it's full swing logging season and the only way I get to spend any amount of time with him is to go to work. Yesterday, me and Toby went for a ride. We had to get up at the crack of 6 am... (it's the Christmas holidays, the're only hauling one load a day, so he gets to sleep in from his usual 2am start time)

She slept or stared blankly the whole way to the block.

If you think the ride in on the goat trail seems bad, try it on the way out! The heavily loaded trailer pulls and pushes your truck around as your trying to navigate the bumpy, skinny little road that winds it's way around gullies, and over over one lane bridges, barely wide enough for your truck.

Smoke Break. I should ride with him everyday, he doesn't smoke while we're in the truck with him, so he only had three that whole day!

Back onto the main road, its snowing and blowing so hard, you can't seen the other trucks coming until they are really close...

...and you're not sure if theres room enough for both trucks on the road. I really don't know how he does this for a living, every day, without us there to entertain him.

Happy Holidays!!

2009-12-28T10:49:00.000-08:00

Wow what a week! This is the first time in days I didn't have a million things to do, a houseful of people, or somewhere to be! We had the best Christmas ever!

My tree went from this.....

To this....

And my husband went from this....

to this.......

after quite a bit of this....

It just wouldn't be Christmas if someone didn't get drunk, shave a stupid mustache and blow up the Christmas tree! I'm just glad they drug it outside before they lit the match.

Too Busy!!

2009-12-21T19:33:00.001-08:00

I had big plans a few weeks ago of getting my Christmas baking all done and freezing it, so I could just spend the Christmas holidays doing what ever fun things came up. We ate every crumb within 24 hours. So here I am, three days before my family comes, preparing for a Griswold family Christmas. We are going to have a houseful for a few days, so I am washing ALL the bedding, remaking beds (and making kids sleep on the couch) cleaning bedrooms, cupboards, the fridge, the freezer, and making cookies and candy, and last minute present and grocery shopping. I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off, doing so many things at once, that today I made 85 spicy molasses cookies before I realized I forgot the baking soda. They're perfect for some Christmas day skeet shooting. I don't recommend eating them, the dentist is closed for the holidays.

Concert Season

2009-12-19T12:52:00.000-08:00

It's the time of year for Christmas concerts. It's all I see when I go on facebook. People gushing about their kids doing such a good job, and their so proud of them. Umm, is there a different kid of Christmas concert that my kids school doesn't know about? Am I having hallucinations of awful Christmas carols, with even awfuller singing? I can't help but wonder if I'm missing a genetic component vital to the enjoyment of Christmas concerts. They really are the most tortuous events I've ever had to to endure. 500 people crammed into a gym. Not enough chairs, of course, so the walls are lined with people 10 deep, with all the tallest ones in front. So I move up to the front, but still against the wall, where the only body part I get to see of my kid is his left shoulder, but I'm pretty sure he is "pulling a Britney" as he puts it, and lip syncing. The cool kids DON'T sing at christmas concerts you know. Don't get me wrong, my kids sing all the time. I love hearing them sing. I really do enjoy, and encourage it. But at Christmas concerts, the only kids you can hear are the tone deaf ones, completely butchering an already horrible song. During which, they are also picking their butt, or nose, or adjusting some other such body part. And then there are the siblings of these kids who have no interest whatsoever in watching the concert. It's much more entertaining to roll around the floor, kick the seats, rip their socks off and throw them at unsuspecting audience members, and demand to be taken home RIGHT NOW!! With the mother trying all the while to convince the little jerk that they need to watch! they'll like it! and to be good or Santa won't come! and if they continue the behavior, she's just going to ignore him! "Umm... well.... pardon me ma'am, but I can't seem to ignore the little asshole, so do you mind if I spank him for you?" I know I don't have the best behaved little girl but I try to save the please-be-nice-lessons for the video, hardware, or outdoor supply store, where it's not interrupting 500 people that I am pretty sure, are just as thrilled as me that it's once again Christmas Concert Season..... yip-ee.

Five Fingers

2009-12-17T08:40:00.000-08:00

Nope I'm not talking about them in the discount sense. FiveFingers are the coolest shoes I've ever seen in my life. I am die hard barefooter. I wear bare feet for half the year, and living where I live, that can get quite cold. I usually bust out the flip flops in March sometime, and reluctantly put them away in late November. Even in the winter, you will rarely catch me wearing socks. They make me claustrophobic. I wear them in my shoes, but take them off as soon as the shoes come off. So, when one of my favorite people posted them on Facebook, I was beyond excited! I can't wait to get my dirty little feet into a pair!

They actually provide some support to your instep, don`t cause blisters, and are machine washable! This particular style is good for such activities as, Light Trekking, Climbing, Canyoneering, Running, Fitness Training, Martial Arts, Yoga, Pilates, Sailing, Boating, Kayaking, Canoeing, and Surfing! I can`t wait to try them out, even though I don't do 95% of the listed activities... but thats besides the point, now isn't it.

Reality Check

2009-12-16T11:52:00.000-08:00

I recently took a trip and the hotel we stayed at had a pool. The Hotel I stayed at also has full length mirrors in the rooms. I suddenly realized the way I look in my head is not the way I look in a full length mirror, in my bathing suit, in real life. I have since been working myself up to doing the 30 day shred. I made it 10 days last time I tried it, lost 8 lbs, and sabotaged myself with 10 lbs of butter tarts. Today was day one of 30. I wasn't 4 minutes into the workout when I realized I want to do this everyday for the simple fact that when I am done, I am going to hunt the bitch on the video down and kick her ass! And by the looks of her, I need to do about a 90 day shred. But that doesn't matter. Her complete irritating-ness and my wanting to kick her ass is all the incentive I need to get through the next 90 days, and then I am going to take her out. Good thing I completely overdosed on cake balls last night, I might not have had the strength to come up with this hair-brained, fat torturing idea.

Cake Balls

2009-12-15T21:21:00.000-08:00

I have cabin fever and it's only December 15th. It's going to be a long winter. I miss trapping. I look back through old pictures and really miss trapping!

Instead of days filled with being in the bush and checking traps, and skinning animals, my days are filled with baking cake balls, eating cake balls, and then crying because I ate too many cake balls. I seriously need to get a winter hobby besides baking.

Should Chickens Fly?

2009-12-14T12:09:00.000-08:00

I got a phone call yesterday to invite us to my husbands family Christmas party in Vancouver. They want to fly us there for the party, since we haven't been able to go for a few years. I know how my husband feels about flying so I told his aunt I would ask and call her back. It was worse than I thought. he had a meltdown about flying. I told him that me and the kids would go and he could stay home and he said that was fine with him. But then, his neurosis got the better of me. I couldn't fall asleep last night because I was too busy obsessing over flying. I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because I'd had a night mare about the plane breaking apart in the air and all of us getting sucked out the back, plummeting to the ground still strapped in our seats. That dream was at 4:53 this morning and I am still sitting her obsessing over it. I get vertigo if I really let my mind wander. How I could let someone make me so scared of doing something just makes me so mad! I've always wanted to travel the world, and see every where I could possible see. I have flown in airplanes before too, and I know it's not even scary. I flown in all kinds of airplanes. Even a rickety one, older than dirt, that didn't even have seats, we just sat on the floor. I have flown in helicopters, with a crazy pilot that dipped and swerved and went straight up, and made me scream so loud I was forever banned from wearing the microphone on the ear muffs. Yet I still got right back in the next time they asked. And now, 30 years old and I am having a nervous break down over getting in a perfectly safe, properly maintained, commercial jet. I am scared to let her book the tickets because I will probably get to the airport and have a full on panic attack. And if they do get me on the plane, I am afraid I will huddle on the floor with my kids and wail the entire flight like we're going down and I'll have to be sedated, or knocked out, and risk being VERY uncool to my kids. And if Big Daddy does decide to man up and come, then we'll probably BOTH be doing it. I am embarrassed for us already, and the tickets aren't even booked. I am making myself crazy over this and trust me, I need no help in that department. Do they serve alcohol on an hour long flight? I think I need to hide out at home and leave the flying to the birds. The sky looks just fine from down here, I see no need to take my two feet off the ground for a better view.

Not Done!

2009-12-13T22:29:00.000-08:00

I seriously thought I was done moving all of my stuff over from that incompetent place I used to hang at, but I wasn't. Now my posts are all mixed up and out of order. That's ok, I like a little chaos in my life.

Bass Ackwards

2009-12-13T22:22:00.000-08:00

"Hey Tobe... yer pettin the wrong end honey"

Either she has no idea she is posing with a pigs ass, or she is making sure she is the cutest thing in the picture. Either way, it makes me laugh.

Cowgirl

2009-12-13T22:21:00.001-08:00

Yesterdays picture reminded me of this picture from about 7 years ago. This was Ellie-May's signature look. Real cowgirls even swim in their boots.

Sunday Drive

2009-12-13T22:20:00.001-08:00

On Saturday evening, we drove out to check camp with Mom and Dad. It was a long, hot, dusty drive so we went for a swim before driving back. I love this lake

Shit Shack

2009-12-13T22:19:00.001-08:00

This is Peach, my moms goat. It was a pet my sister had to have. My sister is now moved out with a house of her own, but my mom would have missed the goat too much, so she left her there. My mom loves this goat. **sarcasm** It eats all of here flowers placed below 5.5 feet, it stands on the hoods of peoples vehicles while they are inside visiting. it rams the door open and runs in the house every chance it gets, and it craps uncontrollably all over the yard. You can't keep it locked in a pen because it is Houdini reincarnated. A few weeks ago, it went missing. My mom was heartbroken I am sure, who would shit all over the walkway now? She looked for her and called for her for hours. On the second day, she happened to look up, towards the guest cabin, as she called and a little goat head popped up in the window on the door. turns out, the goat had rammed its way in, and got stuck in there when the door swung shut behind it. I am sure at this point my mom said swear words, even though that is something she never does. (my 3 yr old says worse words than my mom EVER has) I won't go into detail on what she found up there because she would die of embarrassment, but imagine, a goat that shits approximatly every 30 seconds, and pees almost as often, locked in a guest cabin for 24 hours. I am dying laughing at the thought right now, ony because I didn't have to clean up the mess. Sorry Mom.

Up Close and Personal

2009-12-13T22:18:00.001-08:00

This is my sisters dog. Everytime I see him sitting still, minding his own business, I try to sneak up and get a nice picture of him.His spidey senses must tingle everytime a camera is in a two mile radius,because the minute my camera turns on, he jumps up and gallops over for a big kiss. Every photo I have of him looks exactly like this one

Trash The Dress - Betty Style

2009-12-13T22:15:00.000-08:00

This past weekend a friend of mine got to put on her wedding dress from a few years ago, and participate in a photo shoot called "Trash the dress" I have to admit, I was jelous. You see, I no longer have my wedding dress, so something like this is not an option for me. But let me start at the beginning of this tragedy. I know, I promised no monkey business on this page, but the tragedy of the wedding dress happened on the funnest day of my life so its ok.

I searched high and low for a dress for our wedding. I found a few I liked, but nothing was perfect. There were parts of certain dresses I liked, so I cut out about 6 pictures from the wedding magazines, bought a dress on sale for $100 that had some beading on the bodice I liked, and went to an aunt with exceptional sewing skills, and begged and pleaded for her to remake the dress. She agreed, although I am sure reluctantly, given the horrifying discussion of "this part of this one, and that part of that one," I am sure she thought all of the personalities I was trying to incorporate into the dress were going to clash. But I was positive it was going to be exactly what I wanted, and it was.

And so was the way we got there. Did you really expect Betty to come to her wedding in a limo? Get real.

So the dress was perfect, the ceremony was exactly how I wanted it, We got tons of pictures taken, dinner consisted of enough delicious food to feed an army and a navy, and the party was just getting started.

You may notice the dirt on the hem of my dress. It was starting to collect, along with some sticks, hay, and at one point a chunk of barb wire. I have no idea where the barb wire came from but man was that some awful stuff to remove from lace.

You know the dance where all the guys make big circle and take turns dancing with the bride? Well this is the beginning of that dance. It started out pretty tame....

But soon got a little crazy...

This one got in a bit of trouble.... he's my brother-in-law...

He promised to behave, so hes keeping his hands in plain sight.... Look at the guys in the background. I look at this picture atleast once a week and laugh.

Man these pictures make me laugh!

This is me and my brother dancing. No, I dont usually dance in one flip flop, but this was a special occasion.

My Dad decided to join in.. and a dance off ensued. We seem to do this at every function that includes music. It usually involves the traditional drunken performance of the "Broom Dance" but this was a wedding. We have some class.

I love how we all dance "together" but not, it is a competition after all. Craziest legs wins.

Here you will notice the lovely layers of tulle and crinolin. Take a good look, because this is the last instant it is attached to my dress. Seconds after this, my dad and my brother managed to both step on it from different sides and it ripped clean off the inside of my dress. I ran to the bathroom to pin it back up, but it didn't last one dance. I found it the next day behind the bar, doing the backstroke as a result of this...

Yep, this is Big Daddy aka the Groom, doing a keg stand.

And never one to be outdone by the boys, My sister, the Maid of Honor, goes 5 whole seconds longer than B.D. I only hope she gets married one day, so I can do a keg stand at her wedding in my bridesmaid dress.

Here we have our wonderful photographer (and cousin) joining in as well. There was a long lineup waiting to participate in this event, but I wont torture you with any more pictures of it.

This is the last known picture of my beloved wedding dress. I was still wearing the tie the next morning. Sometime after this picture was taken, the party was moving to our place. One of the guests was unable to ride his harley home because he had a few too many, so he started it up and drove it into the hall for safe keeping. I begged him to let me ride it in, but it was a no go. I went outside started up my dads Rhino, blew some donuts, and ripped around the feild in the pouring rain in my wedding dress before crashing through the partially open front doors, and straight into the table my sister was dancing on before coming to a stop. My dress was then soaked through,missing the crinolin and REALLY tight and itchy all of a sudden. I had too go home and change, apparently tossing the dress into the corner of my room. The party continued the next day with gift opening, and lasted for a few days after that, as we still had company from out of town. When all the hoopla was overwith, it was about 3 or 4 days later, I was cleaning up my house and spotted my dress crumpled in the corner. I picked it up and was horrified to see that the red ribbon must have gotten wet, and had smeared red dye all over the dress. It was covered in mud, sticks, dirt, hay, drinks, and blackberry wine. It was ripped and missing vital underpeices. And worst of all, becasue of the rain I had been rhino-ing in, it was covered in mold. I cried. I would have layed in bed with my dress and cried all day, but the dress really disgusted me at this point. I put it in a bag and hung it in my closet unsure of what to do with it. I asked a few people and all of them said that the mold would never come out, so one day when I was feeling particularly ruthless, I threw it in the garbage. I still can't believe I did this. It haunts me to this day. The ghost of my dress HAUNTS me! Especially when I see people digging their dress out from years ago and doing a trash the dress shoot. I am envious. But then I look back at the pictures and hysterically laugh at how I trashed the dress AT the wedding. Now who else can say they did that? Pretty sure that is a Betty Original.

Happy Birthday!

2009-12-13T22:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my sister! We went all the way in to my moms to go out for dinner with my family, and take a family picture taken for Christmas cards. It was -35, and no one wanted to be outside any longer than the had to, so every one co-operated!

eeeew! It's Weird!

2009-12-12T18:08:00.000-08:00

Bet ya thought I wasn't coming hey? I was busy all day, trying to find a quad for a little girl for Christmas, and crafting, and ginger bread house making! I had originally planned on telling you about my bear hunt last spring, but I decided to tell you about dinner tonight. All week long, my husband works long hours driving his logging truck. I always have dinner waiting, and its always things he likes. Plenty of carb-filled, man food. But today, all he did was nap on the couch and watch tv, so I figured I could get away with something a little lighter and a little different than we normally eat. So I made Shrimp Pasta, from the Pioneer Womans site. I loved it! He hated it! Big surprise right! But hated doesn't begin to describe it. He complained, whined and belly ached the entire meal. He managed to shovel in two platefuls, mind you, but the bitching never stopped! It was weird fancy food, he said. Weird and fancy. I didn't know either of those were a crime. Pardon me. Should I have loaded it down with 5 lbs of hamburger? should it have had beer in it instead of white wine? Really, how does someone become so narrow minded when it comes to eating? I like meat and potatoes, don't get me wrong, but every day just gets to be a bit much! It was like someone stole his truck the way he went on about dinner being weird! So, give the recipe a try and let me know what you think, ok?!

Betty's Back!!

2009-12-11T12:48:00.001-08:00

Or here.. ok back, but here. How about, Betty has moved to here (blog spot) from a really crappy place (weebly) and now I once again feel like posting. I moved all of my prior posts over, without one crap-out, freeze, or "unable to process request"! It was WONDERFUL! The highlight of my year! I can post from my phone if I want, too! I can upload my pictures directly from Picassa, and it WORKS! I feel like a new person! This was better than a new outfit and a haircut! First thing tomorrow I am going to have a fresh new post for you all that have missed me, but today I am celebrating! If only our town had dial-a-bottle, I'd be all set. My car seems to have ran last night on my reputation alone... the gas gauge is so far below empty I'd be surprised if it even starts. Anyways, love ya, missed ya, hope you like the new digs as much as I do!

Betty

2009-12-11T12:25:00.001-08:00

Life is busy. We have been doing a little of this...

a little of that...

And getting ready for a whole lotta huntin!

The Adventures of Betty Crockett

Right where I need to be

All I really need to know...

Happy Hallowe'en

Still No Deer...

Grocery Day

In my opinion.....

Deer[less] Hunting

Stony Lake Day 2

Escape to Stony Lake

12 dogs. 6 weeks.

Hey!

Hello, again.

Vicious Cycle

Common-Tater

Sleep Talker

You've Got Mail

Skating on Thin Ice

Cow Patty

Cheese-Baby

Happy New Year!

Truckin'

Happy Holidays!!

Too Busy!!

Concert Season

Five Fingers

Reality Check

Cake Balls

Should Chickens Fly?

Not Done!

Bass Ackwards

Cowgirl

Sunday Drive

Shit Shack

Up Close and Personal

Trash The Dress - Betty Style

Happy Birthday!

eeeew! It's Weird!

Betty's Back!!

Happy Hunting - oops! I mean Anniversary

Pass it Down

Where There's Smoke, There IS Fire

What About Bob?

The Circus is in Town!

Summer Time in Central BC

Think Twice, Post once

Just Another Day in Paradise...

Time out for Good Behavior

Coney Fries

TupperWare Envy

Undercover Surveilance

Crime & Punishment

Zippy Ice Cream

Congrats Tami & Charlie

Happy Birthday Shooter!

Devil Rockets

A Day in the Life

Outfit Numero Uno

Outfit Deux - The Birthday Suit

Ensemble Trois

Outfit Four

Cinco de dayo

Word of The Day

The View

Summer Lovin'

The End of Coolness

Secret Fears

The Three Bears

False Advertising

Bathroom Flooding 101

I Told You So!

3 Days Later

Revenge of Stinky

Disillusioned Peace & Quiet

Cookie Monster

Mosquito 500

A Walk in the Park

A Day at the River

A Swing and a Miss

New Motor New Camper