Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Truckin'

I grew up a loggers daughter, and now despite my best efforts, I am a loggers wife. It's a feast or famine industry. Either its logging season, he's working as many hours as can legally be fit into a day/week, we never see him, and we have money or it's break up and we're dirt poor and he's home 24 hours a day, wishing he was at work. Right now, it's full swing logging season and the only way I get to spend any amount of time with him is to go to work. Yesterday, me and Toby went for a ride. We had to get up at the crack of 6 am... (it's the Christmas holidays, the're only hauling one load a day, so he gets to sleep in from his usual 2am start time)



She slept or stared blankly the whole way to the block.










If you think the ride in on the goat trail seems bad, try it on the way out! The heavily loaded trailer pulls and pushes your truck around as your trying to navigate the bumpy, skinny little road that winds it's way around gullies, and over over one lane bridges, barely wide enough for your truck.




Smoke Break. I should ride with him everyday, he doesn't smoke while we're in the truck with him, so he only had three that whole day!




Back onto the main road, its snowing and blowing so hard, you can't seen the other trucks coming until they are really close...




...and you're not sure if theres room enough for both trucks on the road. I really don't know how he does this for a living, every day, without us there to entertain him.







Monday, December 28, 2009

Happy Holidays!!


Wow what a week! This is the first time in days I didn't have a million things to do, a houseful of people, or somewhere to be! We had the best Christmas ever!

 My tree went from this.....



To this....




And my husband went from this....




to this.......



after quite a bit of this....




It just wouldn't be Christmas if someone didn't get drunk, shave a stupid mustache and blow up the Christmas tree! I'm just glad they drug it outside before they lit the match.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Too Busy!!

 I had big plans a few weeks ago of getting my Christmas baking all done and freezing it, so I could just spend the Christmas holidays doing what ever fun things came up. We ate every crumb  within 24 hours. So here I am, three days before my family comes, preparing for a Griswold family Christmas. We are going to have a houseful for a few days, so I am washing ALL the bedding, remaking beds (and making kids sleep on the couch) cleaning bedrooms, cupboards, the fridge, the freezer, and making cookies and candy, and last minute present and grocery shopping. I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off, doing so many things at once, that today I made 85 spicy molasses cookies before I realized I forgot the baking soda. They're perfect for some Christmas day skeet shooting. I don't recommend eating them, the dentist is closed for the holidays.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Concert Season

It's the time of year for Christmas concerts. It's all I see when I go on facebook. People gushing about their kids doing such a good job, and their so proud of them. Umm, is there a different kid of Christmas concert that my kids school doesn't know about? Am I having hallucinations of awful Christmas carols, with even awfuller singing? I can't help but wonder if I'm missing a genetic component vital to the enjoyment of Christmas concerts. They really are the most tortuous events I've ever had to to endure. 500 people crammed into a gym. Not enough chairs, of course, so the walls are lined with people 10 deep, with all the tallest ones in front. So I move up to the front, but still against the wall, where the only body part I get to see of my kid is his left shoulder, but I'm pretty sure he is "pulling a Britney" as he puts it, and lip syncing. The cool kids DON'T sing at christmas concerts you know.  Don't get me wrong, my kids sing all the time. I love hearing them sing.  I really do enjoy, and encourage it. But at Christmas concerts, the only kids you can hear are the tone deaf ones, completely butchering an already horrible song. During which, they are also  picking their butt, or nose, or adjusting some other such body part.  And then there are the siblings of these kids who have no interest whatsoever in watching the concert. It's much more entertaining to roll around the floor, kick the seats, rip their socks off and throw them at unsuspecting audience members, and demand to be taken home RIGHT NOW!! With the mother trying all the while to convince the little jerk that they need to watch! they'll like it! and to be good or Santa won't come! and if they continue the behavior, she's just going to ignore him! "Umm... well.... pardon me ma'am, but I can't seem to ignore the little asshole, so do you mind if I spank him for you?"  I know I don't have the best behaved little girl but I try to save the please-be-nice-lessons for the video, hardware, or outdoor supply store, where it's not interrupting 500 people that I am pretty sure, are just as thrilled as me that it's once again Christmas Concert Season..... yip-ee.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Five Fingers

Nope I'm not talking about them in the discount sense. FiveFingers are the coolest shoes I've ever seen in my life. I am die hard barefooter. I wear bare feet for half the year, and living where I live, that can get quite cold. I usually bust out the flip flops in March sometime, and reluctantly put them away in late November. Even in the winter, you will rarely catch me wearing socks. They make me claustrophobic. I wear them in my shoes, but take them off as soon as the shoes come off. So, when one of my favorite people posted them on Facebook, I was beyond excited! I can't wait to get my dirty little feet into a pair!



They actually provide some support to your instep, don`t cause blisters, and are machine washable! This particular style is good for such activities as, Light Trekking, Climbing, Canyoneering, Running, Fitness Training, Martial Arts, Yoga, Pilates, Sailing, Boating, Kayaking, Canoeing, and Surfing! I can`t wait to try them out, even though I don't do 95% of the listed activities... but thats besides the point, now isn't it.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Reality Check

I recently took a trip and the hotel we stayed at had a pool. The Hotel I stayed at also has full length mirrors in the rooms. I suddenly realized the way I look in my head is not the way I look in a full length mirror, in my bathing suit, in real life. I have since been working myself up to doing the 30 day shred. I made it 10 days last time I tried it, lost 8 lbs, and sabotaged myself with 10 lbs of butter tarts. Today was day one of 30. I wasn't 4 minutes into the workout when I realized I want to do this everyday for the simple fact that when I am done, I am going to hunt the bitch on the video down and kick her ass! And by the looks of her, I need to do about a 90 day shred. But that doesn't matter. Her complete irritating-ness and my wanting to kick her ass is all the incentive I need to get through the next 90 days, and then I am going to take her out. Good thing I completely overdosed on cake balls last night, I might not have had the strength to come up with this hair-brained, fat torturing idea.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Cake Balls

I have cabin fever and it's only December 15th. It's going to be a long winter. I miss trapping. I look back through old pictures and really miss trapping!

 Instead of days filled with being in the bush and checking traps, and skinning animals, my days are filled with baking cake balls, eating cake balls, and then crying because I ate too many cake balls. I seriously need to get a winter hobby besides baking.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Should Chickens Fly?


I got a phone call yesterday to invite us to my husbands family Christmas party in Vancouver. They want to fly us there for the party, since we haven't been able to go for a few years. I know how my husband feels about flying so I told his aunt I would ask and call her back. It was worse than I thought. he had a meltdown about flying. I told him that me and the kids would go and he could stay home and he said that was fine with him. But then, his neurosis got the better of me. I couldn't fall asleep last night because I was too busy obsessing over flying. I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because I'd had a night mare about the plane breaking apart in the air and all of us getting sucked out the back, plummeting to the ground still strapped in our seats. That dream was at 4:53 this morning and I am still sitting her obsessing over it. I get vertigo if I really let my mind wander. How I could let someone make me so scared of doing something just makes me so mad! I've always wanted to travel the world, and see every where I could possible see. I have flown in airplanes before too, and I know it's not even scary. I flown in all kinds of airplanes. Even a rickety one, older than dirt, that didn't even have seats, we just sat on the floor. I have flown in helicopters, with a crazy pilot that dipped and swerved and went straight up, and made me scream so loud I was forever banned from wearing the microphone on the ear muffs. Yet I still got right back in the next time they asked. And now, 30 years old and I am having a nervous break down over getting in a perfectly safe, properly maintained, commercial jet. I am scared to let her book the tickets because I will probably get to the airport and have a full on panic attack. And if they do get me on the plane, I am afraid I will huddle on the floor with my kids and wail the entire flight like we're going down and I'll have to be sedated, or knocked out, and risk being VERY uncool to my kids. And if Big Daddy does decide to man up and come, then we'll probably BOTH be doing it. I am embarrassed for us already, and the tickets aren't even booked. I am making myself crazy over this and trust me, I need no help in that department. Do they serve alcohol on an hour long flight? I think I need to hide out at home and leave the flying to the birds. The sky looks just fine from down here, I see no need to take my two feet off the ground for a better view.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Not Done!

I seriously thought I was done moving all of my stuff over from that incompetent place I used to hang at, but I wasn't. Now my posts are all mixed up and out of order. That's ok, I like a little chaos in my life.

Bass Ackwards


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"Hey Tobe... yer pettin the wrong end honey" 
Either she has no idea she is posing with a pigs ass, or she is making sure she is the cutest thing in the picture. Either way, it makes me laugh.

Cowgirl


Yesterdays picture reminded me of this picture from about 7 years ago. This was Ellie-May's signature look. Real cowgirls even swim in their boots.
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Sunday Drive


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On Saturday evening, we drove out to check camp with Mom and Dad. It was a long, hot, dusty drive so we went for a swim before driving back. I love this lake

Shit Shack


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This is Peach, my moms goat. It was a pet my sister had to have. My sister is now moved out with a house of her own, but my mom would have missed the goat too much, so she left her there. My mom loves this goat. **sarcasm** It eats all of here flowers placed below 5.5 feet, it stands on the hoods of peoples vehicles while they are inside visiting. it rams the door open and runs in the house every chance it gets, and it craps uncontrollably all over the yard. You can't keep it locked in a pen because it is Houdini reincarnated.  A few weeks ago, it went missing. My mom was heartbroken I am sure, who would shit all over the walkway now? She looked for her and called for her for hours. On the second day, she happened to look up, towards the guest cabin, as she called and a little goat head popped up in the window on the door. turns out, the goat had rammed its way in, and got stuck in there when the door swung shut behind it. I am sure at this point my mom said swear words, even though that is something she never does. (my 3 yr old says worse words than my mom EVER has) I won't go into detail on what she found up there because she would die of embarrassment, but imagine, a goat that shits approximatly every 30 seconds, and pees almost as often, locked in a guest cabin for 24 hours. I am dying laughing at the thought right now, ony because I didn't have to clean up the mess. Sorry Mom. 

Up Close and Personal


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This is my sisters dog. Everytime I see him sitting still, minding his own business, I try to sneak up and get a nice picture of him.His spidey senses must tingle everytime a camera is in a two mile radius,because the minute my camera turns on, he jumps up and gallops over for a big kiss. Every photo I have of him looks exactly like this one

Trash The Dress - Betty Style


This past weekend a friend of mine got to put on her wedding dress from a few years ago, and participate in a photo shoot called "Trash the dress" I have to admit, I was jelous. You see, I no longer have my wedding dress, so something like this is not an option for me. But let me start at the beginning of this tragedy. I know, I promised no monkey business on this page, but the tragedy of the wedding dress happened on the funnest day of my life so its ok.


 I searched high and low for a dress for our wedding. I found a few I liked, but nothing was perfect. There were parts of certain dresses I liked, so I cut out about 6 pictures from the wedding magazines, bought a dress on sale for $100 that had some beading on the bodice I liked, and went to an aunt with exceptional sewing skills, and begged and pleaded for her to remake the dress. She agreed, although I am sure reluctantly, given the horrifying discussion of "this part of this one, and that part of that one," I am sure she thought all of the personalities I was trying to incorporate into the dress were going to clash. But I was positive it was going to be exactly what I wanted, and it was.
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And so was the way we got there. Did you really expect Betty to come to her wedding in a limo? Get real. 
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So the dress was perfect, the ceremony was exactly how I wanted it, We got tons of pictures taken, dinner consisted of enough delicious food to feed an army and a navy, and the party was just getting started.
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You may notice the dirt on the hem of my dress. It was starting to collect, along with some sticks, hay, and at one point a chunk of barb wire. I have no idea where the barb wire came from but man was that some awful stuff to remove from lace.
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You know the dance where all the guys make big circle and take turns dancing with the bride? Well this is the beginning of that dance. It started out pretty tame....
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But soon got a little crazy...
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This one got in a bit of trouble.... he's my brother-in-law...
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He promised to behave, so hes keeping his hands in plain sight.... Look at the guys in the background. I look at this picture atleast once a week and laugh.
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Man these pictures make me laugh!
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This is me and my brother dancing. No, I dont usually dance in one flip flop, but this was a special occasion.
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My Dad decided to join in.. and a dance off ensued. We seem to do this at every function that includes music. It usually involves the traditional drunken performance of the "Broom Dance" but this was a wedding. We have some class.
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I love how we all dance "together" but not, it is a competition after all. Craziest legs wins.
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Here you will notice the lovely layers of tulle and crinolin. Take a good look, because this is the last instant it is attached to my dress. Seconds after this, my dad and my brother managed to both step on it from different sides and it ripped clean off the inside of my dress. I ran to the bathroom to pin it back up, but it didn't last one dance. I found it the next day behind the bar, doing the backstroke as a result of this...
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Yep, this is Big Daddy aka the Groom, doing a keg stand.
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And never one to be outdone by the boys, My sister, the Maid of Honor, goes 5 whole seconds longer than B.D. I only hope she gets married one day, so I can do a keg stand at her wedding in my bridesmaid dress.
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Here we have our wonderful photographer (and cousin) joining in as well. There was a long lineup waiting to participate in this event, but I wont torture you with any more pictures of it.
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This is the last known picture of my beloved wedding dress. I was still wearing the tie the next morning. Sometime after this picture was taken, the party was moving to our place. One of the guests was unable to ride his harley home because he had a few too many, so he started it up and drove it into the hall for safe keeping. I begged him to let me ride it in, but it was a no go. I went outside started up my dads Rhino, blew some donuts, and ripped around the feild in the pouring rain in my wedding dress before crashing through the partially open front doors, and straight into the table my sister was dancing on before coming to a stop. My dress was then soaked through,missing the crinolin and REALLY tight and itchy all of a sudden. I had too go home and change, apparently tossing the dress into the corner of my room. The party continued the next day with gift opening, and lasted for a few days after that, as we still had company from out of town. When all the hoopla was overwith, it was about 3 or 4 days later, I was cleaning up my house and spotted my dress crumpled in the corner. I picked it up and was horrified to see that the red ribbon must have gotten wet, and had smeared red dye all over the dress. It was covered in mud, sticks, dirt, hay, drinks, and blackberry wine. It was ripped and missing vital underpeices. And worst of all, becasue of the rain I had been rhino-ing in, it was covered in mold. I cried. I would have layed in bed with my dress and cried all day, but the dress really disgusted me at this point. I put it in a bag and hung it in my closet unsure of what to do with it. I asked a few people and all of them said that the mold would never come out, so one day when I was feeling particularly ruthless, I threw it in the garbage. I still can't believe I did this. It haunts me to this day. The ghost of my dress HAUNTS me!  Especially when I see people digging their dress out from years ago and doing a trash the dress shoot. I am envious. But then I look back at the pictures and hysterically laugh at how I trashed the dress AT the wedding. Now who else can say they did that? Pretty sure that is a Betty Original.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my sister! We went all the way in to my moms to go out for dinner with my family, and take a family picture taken for Christmas cards.  It was -35, and no one wanted to be outside any longer than the had to, so every one co-operated!


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Saturday, December 12, 2009

eeeew! It's Weird!

Bet ya thought I wasn't coming hey? I was busy all day, trying to find a quad for a little girl for Christmas, and crafting, and ginger bread house making! I had originally planned on telling you about my bear hunt last spring, but I decided to tell you about dinner tonight. All week long, my husband works long hours driving his logging truck. I always have dinner waiting, and its always things he likes. Plenty of carb-filled, man food. But today, all he did was nap on the couch and watch tv, so I figured I could get away with something a little lighter and a little different than we normally eat. So I made Shrimp Pasta, from the Pioneer Womans site. I loved it! He hated it! Big surprise right! But hated doesn't begin to describe it. He complained, whined and belly ached the entire meal. He managed to shovel in two platefuls, mind you, but the bitching never stopped! It was weird fancy food, he said. Weird and fancy. I didn't know either of those were a crime. Pardon me. Should I have loaded it down with 5 lbs of hamburger? should it have had beer in it instead of white wine? Really, how does someone become so narrow minded when it comes to eating? I like meat and potatoes, don't get me wrong, but every day just gets to be a bit much! It was like someone stole his truck the way he went on about dinner being weird! So, give the recipe a try and let me know what you think, ok?!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Betty's Back!!

Or here.. ok back, but here. How about, Betty has moved to here (blog spot) from a really crappy place (weebly) and now I once again feel like posting. I moved all of my prior posts over, without one crap-out, freeze, or "unable to process request"! It was WONDERFUL! The highlight of my year! I can post from my phone if I want, too! I can upload my pictures directly from Picassa, and it WORKS! I feel like a new person! This was better than a new outfit and a haircut! First thing tomorrow I am going to have a fresh new post for you all that have missed me, but today I am celebrating! If  only our town had dial-a-bottle, I'd be all set. My car seems to have ran last night on my reputation alone... the gas gauge is so far below empty I'd be surprised if it even starts. Anyways, love ya, missed ya, hope you like the new digs as much as I do!

Betty

Life is busy. We have been doing a little of this...
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a little of that...
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And getting ready for a whole lotta huntin!
 
Old Fashion Fun10/07/2009
 
Just to be clear before I start, and before someones undies get all in a bunch... the hornet nest I am going to tell you about was under my deck, and right by my basement door, which meant every time you went outside by either way, you were swarmed by hornets. The nest had to go!
As a kid growing up and still to this day, one of our (my whole family, mom and dad included) favorite family past times was throwing rocks at hornets nests. We would drive the quads around till we found one, gather rocks and start pelting. The biggest swarms of the maddest hornets you ever seen would chase us, and someone always got stung at least a few times. I remember one time my mom got stung right in the eye, and she thought someone hit her with a rock. It was so funny. The other day my son and I decided to get rid of the nests that are under our deck, there was 3 of them! He got his uniform on...
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Mine included a great big coat and a helmet with a face shield. I'm not stupid.
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This one was the biggest. We had a few good chases..
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But no one got stung. the hornets must be sleepy this time of year!

Well, we moved. I'm still not done unpacking, or cleaning the old house, but I have all week to get that done. Right now I am in my kitchen, just got dinner in the oven, and my kids are all playing outside. My house is clean and quiet.I think I have died and gone to heaven. I'll take you on a tour tomorrow, for now I'll just leave you with the same view I had when I woke up in this wonderful place for the first time.
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My 12 year old son likes school, he just doesn't like the fact that it starts in the morning. It totally interrupts his sleep. I start trying to wake him up at 7am, school starts at 9. By 9:30 he's still not out of bed and the other kids are long gone. His teacher thought she could solve the problem by sending other kids from the class up to get him, maybe that would shame him into showing up on time. I think he thought it was funny. So this morning when there was a knock on the door at 9:30 and Shooter was still sleeping, I expected one or two kids on the other side..... I opened the door to 30 kids yelling good morning. I stepped back and said, "He's in his room" and all 30 kids walked in the house and down the hall to his room, and yelled for him to get up. I wanted to get a picture but couldn't even get through the crowd for my camera. Needless to say he got up pretty quick, and was out the door with them. I wonder what we'll do after we move, and he has to catch a bus at 8am?
 
 
I know what you're all thinking, and no, I didn't take a vacation at the looney bin. I have  been insanely busy. Busy to the point of exhaustion every night, and it's just dang hard to find the humor in anything when you're that tired. All the same shenanigans have been going on as usual, it's just not that funny when there is more people doing them. We have have family staying with us, long story. Basically it means I am doing an inhuman amount of cooking, cleaning and laundry. To top it off, we are moving in seven days. I have seven days to pack my house, and do all my chores everyday. I would like to go to bed and cover my head until this is all over, but where we are moving to is just too perfect to pass up. I finally won the battle. I am moving out of town, to a big house on huge property with... are you ready.... one neighbor for miles. I can't wait. No more neighbors seeing my in my long johns, no more swearing in sign language at my husband so the neighbors won't hear, no more cranky old bats next door telling me that my dirt is rolling into her yard, no more kids flying down the driveway on a bicycle at mach 10 and smashing into the back of my car so hard I need to jack my car up to get the bike out from underneath. We can run, yell, bike ride, climb trees, swear and cuss until our hearts content. I can even bring my horse home, but sorry mom, there is a strict no-sheep policy in that neck of the woods. I know, I am really sad about that. And the best part is, I am sure there are plenty of wild animals running about.... time to take up bowhunting, wouldn't want to scare the cows .
 
A Conversation09/16/2009
 
The kids were all busy drawing and hanging out tonite, so I decided to get started on one of my craft projects. I got a paper mache mixture ready, cut a bunch of paper strips, got a huge plastic bowl and brought it out the the coffee table.
B.D. "What ARE you doing?"
Me "Making an egg"
B.D "A what?!"
Me "an egg"
B.D. "what the hell for?!"
Me "to put babies in"
B.D. "are you friggin cracked out?!"
Me "not that I'm aware of. I just want to make an egg, put feathers in in, make a nest and put little babies in it and take their picture"
B.D. "oh my god you are SO weird"
http://www.photographyprops.com/Egg-and-Nest-Photography-Prop-p/grkegg.htm ---it;s my new favorite thing!
 
 
Help! I'm lost in one of my cupboards and can't find my way out!


You know what I love/hate? When someone else, besides me puts the dishes away. Ya, Ya, I know, it's nice and I should appreciate it and whatever! But the thing is, they never put anything away where it goes, and they never, ever, stack it and organize it the way I do. I have a system, really, as to what goes where and what order it is stacked in and on the list goes.  So tonight, I am psyching myself to tackle the big job tomorow of reorganizing all the cupboards in the kitchen. I may not come out for a while.. its pretty bad in there. So I am spending sometime at my happy place... trying to work up the nerve.
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Okay, getting closer...
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and closer....
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Okay, there we go. All better.
 
Blue Cheese09/13/2009
 
I seen a recipe that looked really good a while back, and I planned on making it for Big Daddies birthday dinner. I went out got the ingredients and came home to start cooking. One of the ingredients was blue cheese. I've never had blue cheese before, so i was curious... it looked like it was mottled with mold, but I have an open mind regarding food and an open mouth.... probably why the pants are feeling a little snug... anyways, I cut off a little chunk of the cheese and popped it in my mouth.  Well the minute I did half a chew, I gagged. and not just a little one, a dry heave so hard I almost threw up. Not one to waste food, i tried to swallow it and get it over with but the taste was so horrendous that it wouldn't go down. I felt like I was choking to death on the smell! It was the grossest thing in my LIFE! It was like the dirtiest, sweatiest, rottenest socks smothered in rotten milk. I have never tasted something so awful and can't believe I was charged 6 bucks for it either. I am forever a complete hater of blue cheese. it was so awful, I called my kids in to taste this "really good cheese I just bought!" they came flying in and I gave them all a chunk and told them to eat it all at the same time.... and laughed my ass off at the expressions of "omg, why mom?!?" on their precious little faces. Suckers! They should know better by now!
 
 
I am just not sure what to make of the following video. I have watched it several times to see if its fake, but with all my nonexistent, technical, fake-video recognition skills I cant decide.  The stupidity of it is mind boggling. Are the chances of landing it that high that you would do it? Judging by the looks on all their faces, they are just as surprised as me that it worked, even the guy doing it is shocked. Shocked and thankful I suppose, that he doesn't have the broken ass and  wetsuit sized wedgie that he would have got if he missed the landing. And what I am really thankful for is that my kids didn't think of it first.
http://www.acetj.com/videos/player.php?mediaID=3045
 
 
As I mentioned already, I had a wonderful time on our holiday. See, you can tell by the picture....
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Oh, you can't see me? Here, let me help you...
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Oh, it's just a foot you say? Well it's a happy foot, let me assure you.

And here's another...
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Seriously, that is a big smile on those fingers. The crab on the other hand is flipping the bird. Aren't those nice pictures? In the years to come, they will be such precious keepsakes of our life, "...and here is my mom...'s finger..."
 
 
My youngest acts like she is possessed 99% of the time. She fights, screams, swears, cries,and has tantrums that could send any child psychologist to the bathrooom for a cry. But every once in while, she gets some alone time with us and it's like the body snatchers took her and left a sweat little princess in her place.
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 We took her on our trip this past weekend to the ocean, and we had so much fun with her. It was her first time at an ocean, so she had to give it a taste, and stick her feet in, because no water is too cold for her. The kid would swim anywhere, anytime, and never complain of the cold.
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Apparently she is no match for the North Pacific in September, she got the heck out of there pretty quick, and got right back to some serious beach combing. My car now needs a detailing from the smell she brought home along with all her treasures.
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And anytime is a good time for a dance. She seriously was so happy to be alone with us that she danced the entire weekend, everywhere we went.
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And said "I love you Daddy" every 5 minutes.
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Phobia #309/03/2009
 
Other than the dark, and dirt on the hands I pretty much only have one other phobia. Its scissor happy hairdressers. Why, WHY!, for the love of pete do they chop 6 inches off when you CLEARLY indicate around 2 inches, and even say "at most" Do they think you aren't going to notice? Do they not feel stupid when they show you the back of your head with that little mirror, and your jaw hits the floor? My husband has this thing with long blond hair, something in 6 year I never managed to accomplish because every time I go in for a trim, they scalp me. I grow it out it gets to the middle of my back, I dread going to the hairdresser and put it off for a year atleast because i know what they are going to do to me. I finally get the nerve to go, stress the importance of maintaining the long hair, and come out with it almost up to my ears, with all  sorts of weird layers and ridiculously short bangs. I look like I should be going to grade 5 along with my daughter in a few days. So, I'd just like to thank the nice lady the hacked my hair with what must have been a hatchet or a dull hunting knife, (that's why she made me take my glasses off while she cut it.) Next time I'll just stick my head in the weed whacker and save myself thirty bucks. I may be able to post a picture after the pshyciatric councilling is over with.