Friday, December 11, 2009

Well, we moved. I'm still not done unpacking, or cleaning the old house, but I have all week to get that done. Right now I am in my kitchen, just got dinner in the oven, and my kids are all playing outside. My house is clean and quiet.I think I have died and gone to heaven. I'll take you on a tour tomorrow, for now I'll just leave you with the same view I had when I woke up in this wonderful place for the first time.
My 12 year old son likes school, he just doesn't like the fact that it starts in the morning. It totally interrupts his sleep. I start trying to wake him up at 7am, school starts at 9. By 9:30 he's still not out of bed and the other kids are long gone. His teacher thought she could solve the problem by sending other kids from the class up to get him, maybe that would shame him into showing up on time. I think he thought it was funny. So this morning when there was a knock on the door at 9:30 and Shooter was still sleeping, I expected one or two kids on the other side..... I opened the door to 30 kids yelling good morning. I stepped back and said, "He's in his room" and all 30 kids walked in the house and down the hall to his room, and yelled for him to get up. I wanted to get a picture but couldn't even get through the crowd for my camera. Needless to say he got up pretty quick, and was out the door with them. I wonder what we'll do after we move, and he has to catch a bus at 8am?
I know what you're all thinking, and no, I didn't take a vacation at the looney bin. I have  been insanely busy. Busy to the point of exhaustion every night, and it's just dang hard to find the humor in anything when you're that tired. All the same shenanigans have been going on as usual, it's just not that funny when there is more people doing them. We have have family staying with us, long story. Basically it means I am doing an inhuman amount of cooking, cleaning and laundry. To top it off, we are moving in seven days. I have seven days to pack my house, and do all my chores everyday. I would like to go to bed and cover my head until this is all over, but where we are moving to is just too perfect to pass up. I finally won the battle. I am moving out of town, to a big house on huge property with... are you ready.... one neighbor for miles. I can't wait. No more neighbors seeing my in my long johns, no more swearing in sign language at my husband so the neighbors won't hear, no more cranky old bats next door telling me that my dirt is rolling into her yard, no more kids flying down the driveway on a bicycle at mach 10 and smashing into the back of my car so hard I need to jack my car up to get the bike out from underneath. We can run, yell, bike ride, climb trees, swear and cuss until our hearts content. I can even bring my horse home, but sorry mom, there is a strict no-sheep policy in that neck of the woods. I know, I am really sad about that. And the best part is, I am sure there are plenty of wild animals running about.... time to take up bowhunting, wouldn't want to scare the cows .
A Conversation09/16/2009
The kids were all busy drawing and hanging out tonite, so I decided to get started on one of my craft projects. I got a paper mache mixture ready, cut a bunch of paper strips, got a huge plastic bowl and brought it out the the coffee table.
B.D. "What ARE you doing?"
Me "Making an egg"
B.D "A what?!"
Me "an egg"
B.D. "what the hell for?!"
Me "to put babies in"
B.D. "are you friggin cracked out?!"
Me "not that I'm aware of. I just want to make an egg, put feathers in in, make a nest and put little babies in it and take their picture"
B.D. "oh my god you are SO weird" ---it;s my new favorite thing!
Help! I'm lost in one of my cupboards and can't find my way out!

You know what I love/hate? When someone else, besides me puts the dishes away. Ya, Ya, I know, it's nice and I should appreciate it and whatever! But the thing is, they never put anything away where it goes, and they never, ever, stack it and organize it the way I do. I have a system, really, as to what goes where and what order it is stacked in and on the list goes.  So tonight, I am psyching myself to tackle the big job tomorow of reorganizing all the cupboards in the kitchen. I may not come out for a while.. its pretty bad in there. So I am spending sometime at my happy place... trying to work up the nerve.
Okay, getting closer...
and closer....
Okay, there we go. All better.
Blue Cheese09/13/2009
I seen a recipe that looked really good a while back, and I planned on making it for Big Daddies birthday dinner. I went out got the ingredients and came home to start cooking. One of the ingredients was blue cheese. I've never had blue cheese before, so i was curious... it looked like it was mottled with mold, but I have an open mind regarding food and an open mouth.... probably why the pants are feeling a little snug... anyways, I cut off a little chunk of the cheese and popped it in my mouth.  Well the minute I did half a chew, I gagged. and not just a little one, a dry heave so hard I almost threw up. Not one to waste food, i tried to swallow it and get it over with but the taste was so horrendous that it wouldn't go down. I felt like I was choking to death on the smell! It was the grossest thing in my LIFE! It was like the dirtiest, sweatiest, rottenest socks smothered in rotten milk. I have never tasted something so awful and can't believe I was charged 6 bucks for it either. I am forever a complete hater of blue cheese. it was so awful, I called my kids in to taste this "really good cheese I just bought!" they came flying in and I gave them all a chunk and told them to eat it all at the same time.... and laughed my ass off at the expressions of "omg, why mom?!?" on their precious little faces. Suckers! They should know better by now!
I am just not sure what to make of the following video. I have watched it several times to see if its fake, but with all my nonexistent, technical, fake-video recognition skills I cant decide.  The stupidity of it is mind boggling. Are the chances of landing it that high that you would do it? Judging by the looks on all their faces, they are just as surprised as me that it worked, even the guy doing it is shocked. Shocked and thankful I suppose, that he doesn't have the broken ass and  wetsuit sized wedgie that he would have got if he missed the landing. And what I am really thankful for is that my kids didn't think of it first.
As I mentioned already, I had a wonderful time on our holiday. See, you can tell by the picture....
Oh, you can't see me? Here, let me help you...
Oh, it's just a foot you say? Well it's a happy foot, let me assure you.

And here's another...
Seriously, that is a big smile on those fingers. The crab on the other hand is flipping the bird. Aren't those nice pictures? In the years to come, they will be such precious keepsakes of our life, "...and here is my mom...'s finger..."
My youngest acts like she is possessed 99% of the time. She fights, screams, swears, cries,and has tantrums that could send any child psychologist to the bathrooom for a cry. But every once in while, she gets some alone time with us and it's like the body snatchers took her and left a sweat little princess in her place.
 We took her on our trip this past weekend to the ocean, and we had so much fun with her. It was her first time at an ocean, so she had to give it a taste, and stick her feet in, because no water is too cold for her. The kid would swim anywhere, anytime, and never complain of the cold.
Apparently she is no match for the North Pacific in September, she got the heck out of there pretty quick, and got right back to some serious beach combing. My car now needs a detailing from the smell she brought home along with all her treasures.
And anytime is a good time for a dance. She seriously was so happy to be alone with us that she danced the entire weekend, everywhere we went.
And said "I love you Daddy" every 5 minutes.
Phobia #309/03/2009
Other than the dark, and dirt on the hands I pretty much only have one other phobia. Its scissor happy hairdressers. Why, WHY!, for the love of pete do they chop 6 inches off when you CLEARLY indicate around 2 inches, and even say "at most" Do they think you aren't going to notice? Do they not feel stupid when they show you the back of your head with that little mirror, and your jaw hits the floor? My husband has this thing with long blond hair, something in 6 year I never managed to accomplish because every time I go in for a trim, they scalp me. I grow it out it gets to the middle of my back, I dread going to the hairdresser and put it off for a year atleast because i know what they are going to do to me. I finally get the nerve to go, stress the importance of maintaining the long hair, and come out with it almost up to my ears, with all  sorts of weird layers and ridiculously short bangs. I look like I should be going to grade 5 along with my daughter in a few days. So, I'd just like to thank the nice lady the hacked my hair with what must have been a hatchet or a dull hunting knife, (that's why she made me take my glasses off while she cut it.) Next time I'll just stick my head in the weed whacker and save myself thirty bucks. I may be able to post a picture after the pshyciatric councilling is over with.

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