Sunday, December 13, 2009

Trash The Dress - Betty Style


This past weekend a friend of mine got to put on her wedding dress from a few years ago, and participate in a photo shoot called "Trash the dress" I have to admit, I was jelous. You see, I no longer have my wedding dress, so something like this is not an option for me. But let me start at the beginning of this tragedy. I know, I promised no monkey business on this page, but the tragedy of the wedding dress happened on the funnest day of my life so its ok.


 I searched high and low for a dress for our wedding. I found a few I liked, but nothing was perfect. There were parts of certain dresses I liked, so I cut out about 6 pictures from the wedding magazines, bought a dress on sale for $100 that had some beading on the bodice I liked, and went to an aunt with exceptional sewing skills, and begged and pleaded for her to remake the dress. She agreed, although I am sure reluctantly, given the horrifying discussion of "this part of this one, and that part of that one," I am sure she thought all of the personalities I was trying to incorporate into the dress were going to clash. But I was positive it was going to be exactly what I wanted, and it was.
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And so was the way we got there. Did you really expect Betty to come to her wedding in a limo? Get real. 
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So the dress was perfect, the ceremony was exactly how I wanted it, We got tons of pictures taken, dinner consisted of enough delicious food to feed an army and a navy, and the party was just getting started.
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You may notice the dirt on the hem of my dress. It was starting to collect, along with some sticks, hay, and at one point a chunk of barb wire. I have no idea where the barb wire came from but man was that some awful stuff to remove from lace.
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You know the dance where all the guys make big circle and take turns dancing with the bride? Well this is the beginning of that dance. It started out pretty tame....
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But soon got a little crazy...
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This one got in a bit of trouble.... he's my brother-in-law...
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He promised to behave, so hes keeping his hands in plain sight.... Look at the guys in the background. I look at this picture atleast once a week and laugh.
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Man these pictures make me laugh!
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This is me and my brother dancing. No, I dont usually dance in one flip flop, but this was a special occasion.
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My Dad decided to join in.. and a dance off ensued. We seem to do this at every function that includes music. It usually involves the traditional drunken performance of the "Broom Dance" but this was a wedding. We have some class.
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I love how we all dance "together" but not, it is a competition after all. Craziest legs wins.
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Here you will notice the lovely layers of tulle and crinolin. Take a good look, because this is the last instant it is attached to my dress. Seconds after this, my dad and my brother managed to both step on it from different sides and it ripped clean off the inside of my dress. I ran to the bathroom to pin it back up, but it didn't last one dance. I found it the next day behind the bar, doing the backstroke as a result of this...
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Yep, this is Big Daddy aka the Groom, doing a keg stand.
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And never one to be outdone by the boys, My sister, the Maid of Honor, goes 5 whole seconds longer than B.D. I only hope she gets married one day, so I can do a keg stand at her wedding in my bridesmaid dress.
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Here we have our wonderful photographer (and cousin) joining in as well. There was a long lineup waiting to participate in this event, but I wont torture you with any more pictures of it.
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This is the last known picture of my beloved wedding dress. I was still wearing the tie the next morning. Sometime after this picture was taken, the party was moving to our place. One of the guests was unable to ride his harley home because he had a few too many, so he started it up and drove it into the hall for safe keeping. I begged him to let me ride it in, but it was a no go. I went outside started up my dads Rhino, blew some donuts, and ripped around the feild in the pouring rain in my wedding dress before crashing through the partially open front doors, and straight into the table my sister was dancing on before coming to a stop. My dress was then soaked through,missing the crinolin and REALLY tight and itchy all of a sudden. I had too go home and change, apparently tossing the dress into the corner of my room. The party continued the next day with gift opening, and lasted for a few days after that, as we still had company from out of town. When all the hoopla was overwith, it was about 3 or 4 days later, I was cleaning up my house and spotted my dress crumpled in the corner. I picked it up and was horrified to see that the red ribbon must have gotten wet, and had smeared red dye all over the dress. It was covered in mud, sticks, dirt, hay, drinks, and blackberry wine. It was ripped and missing vital underpeices. And worst of all, becasue of the rain I had been rhino-ing in, it was covered in mold. I cried. I would have layed in bed with my dress and cried all day, but the dress really disgusted me at this point. I put it in a bag and hung it in my closet unsure of what to do with it. I asked a few people and all of them said that the mold would never come out, so one day when I was feeling particularly ruthless, I threw it in the garbage. I still can't believe I did this. It haunts me to this day. The ghost of my dress HAUNTS me!  Especially when I see people digging their dress out from years ago and doing a trash the dress shoot. I am envious. But then I look back at the pictures and hysterically laugh at how I trashed the dress AT the wedding. Now who else can say they did that? Pretty sure that is a Betty Original.

3 comments:

  1. That is some story there, Betty! I was back and forth, feeling sorry, then laughing, feeling sorry, then laughing. Sounds like you have enough good memories from that day, or days, to last you a lifetime. Who needs a dress?!

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  2. And that's one of the most beautiful wedding pics I've ever seen!

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