Friday, December 11, 2009

A Swing and a Miss

Tonite B.D. took us all to the driving range. It was the first time for all of us except him. We got our buckets of balls from the house that looked like it could have been on Deliverance, then walked a mile through the swampland to the driving area. I watched Big Daddy hit a few balls and thought to my self, That is soooo easy, I am going to whip his ass at golf! I set myself up, took at big ol Tiger Woods swing and completely frigging missed. I didnt even hit the ground! I swung again, missed, swung, missed, swung, missed. What the hell?! It looks so easy, must be the club, right? I tried every club in the bag and hit the ball only twice, if you can call the ball dribbling about 20 feet in front of me hitting it. Big Daddy is blasting the balls 150 to 200 yards everytime! Shooter is hitting them between 50 and 100 yards everytime. This is so not fair! I turn around, Ellie-May, in her little pink skirt (I think she thought we were going to play tennis) is doing the exact thing I am doing, swing, miss, swing, miss, whack the golf bag with the club a few times, "Mom, what the Hell!", swing, miss, swing, miss. Toby is sitting in the bench, holding her tummy, cause the only thing she managed to hit is herself. The boys were happily whacking the balls to oblivion, and laughing at us girls. Whatever, I shoot things with teeth and claws, not helpless little balls.


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