8 Second Ride

So today I decided to clean the fish tank that I have been ignoring the existence of in hopes that someone else would do it. But no such luck. I have come to realize that unless we go "Big love" I am going to be the only housewife around here. (And I don't share nicely) So, the fish we have is not your typical gold fish. Mudge is a 10 inch (or so) long Jaguar cyclid. They are extremely aggressive and pirhana-like. When Toby was around 1, this fish absolutely hated her. It would see her coming close to the tank and start ramming the glass trying to get her. I am not even exaggerating a bit. It repeatedly smashed its face off the glass whenever she was within 3 feet. Anyone else could walk by, stick their face on the glass, even tap the glass and the fish didn't care.  Mudge eats feeder fish, so she is used to savagely killing anything that drops into her tank. We always told Toby to never stick her fingers in the tank, but I guess it just sounded too fun to resist. I seen just as her fingers hit the water, but it was too late. Mudge was latched on. Toby jerkerd her hand up, smashing into the lid which flew off. She had to give two good flails before the fish let go. It didn't sound so fun anymore. Today, her tank was so dirty that you couldn't actually tell that there was a fish in there. It looked like a science project gone wrong. So I knew I had to get her out of the tank to scrub it properly. I grab the net. Great. Someone/something ate the net part right of the handle. I seriously wonder what I am doing while these things go on. So I get the juice jug and a flipper and after after about half an hour of the fish attacking both like a rabid dog, I manage to shove her into the juice jug and pour her into the big bowl I had waiting. She's nice and pissed off by this point. The minute the water (and fish) hit the bowl, the chihuahua dives in for a drink. That fish had her so fast by the tongue, the dog didn't know what hit her. Chica jumps back, with the fish still attached, and takes off like a bull out of the chute! Bucking and squealing and triple sow cowing. The fish lets go and is now flopping on the living room floor. Toby is running in circles screaming, the dogs are going crazy, I am trying to scrape the fish off the floor with the flipper and get it back into the bowl before the big dog decides its lunch! Swear to you, true story. This is a typical day in our house. The jungle is a dangerous place.